College Graduation

is totally and completely overrated.

 I loved school.  I loved learning and stretching my brain and questioning things and figuring things out.

Which is basically why graduating is overrated...I'm a nerd!

I liked school.  I liked the routine, I liked my professors and getting tea and a muffin between classes.  I liked having my values challenged and getting different perspectives about life and happiness and culture.

So for me, graduation eliminated all of it!

So I miss it every day.

HOWEVER, there are a lot of things I don't miss.

Like finals.

and writing papers.

and having to defend my beliefs every single day. 

and finding parking.

and pulling all nighters to finish homework.

But I miss the silly things like the smell of old books in the library and sitting under the trees while I work on my papers and even reading books that I would never choose to read on my own, and my professors who were so encouraging and kind to me. They believed in my writing and believed in my ability to produce good ideas.  I miss it.

So if you are still in school and you think you'll be better off after graduation, chances are you will be.  Most of you will be married (or already married) and starting families.  Others will have great jobs and will be paving a career path.  But if you're like me and life is at a weird standstill then school was a dang good distraction.

Now I'm stuck being an adult and do adult things and figure out my adult life.  Now I can't tell people when they ask what I'm doing with my life that I'm "going to school." Now I have to give a real answer like "I'm working at such and such place and hoping to get such and such job in the near future." But I don't have that kind of answer because I don't know what the heck I'm doing!

Anyway, graduating from college was item number 2 on my bucket list (you can read about my bucket list by clicking on the tab above). And while it's been a weird transition into adulthood, man it sure feels good to say "I'm a college grad!" 

Rant over.

xoxoxoxoxoxo
Ellie

An Open Letter to Myself.

Dear Ellie,

2015 was quite the year.  A milestone year, in fact.  You’ve traveled to so many places; have met so many new, wonderful people and most importantly, you graduated college.  A first for your family! Congratulations!

It seems like you’ve dreamed of graduating college since you were 10 years old.  You were such an odd kid.  Most 10-year-old kids don’t have their lives planned out…but you did.  You planned on graduating high school with a scholarship. Done.  You planned on serving a mission. Done.  You planned on getting a degree. Done.

It seems like you’ve checked everything off of your list and now you question what’s next.  I know you are terrified over the future and that you feel that nagging feeling inside your soul that tells you there must be more. 

And there is.  There is so much more, your life has just begun. 

Ellie, you are so unique and many times you forget who you are.  2016 is your year. 

2016 is the year of Ellie. 

This year your faith will grow, and you will see miracles as you stop questioning the Lord’s plan for you and you just go with it.

[seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand.  For behold, ye yourselves know that He counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.]           

You’re going to see the world, Ellie.  Make it a priority.  Enjoy this time to travel, to meet new people, to experience a part of yourself that you haven’t met yet.  Devour the food in Cartagena.  Breathe in the wild scent of the Alps and marvel at the Lord’s creation. He made it just for you. And when you go to England, make sure you make all your wild Harry Potter dreams come true.

[Even if it’s only through day-dreams of Hogwarts]

Take care of your body.  You’re so hard on it, so critical of every part of it.  Yet you’re alive.  And this vessel has so much to give. Excercise for the right reasons.  Relish the fact that your heart beats, that your lungs breathe. 

This year is also about letting go.  It’s about forgiveness and loosening your hold on bitterness and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s about not holding on to a past that wont make you happy now.  Use it as fuel for the life you are creating for yourself.

And Ellie, before I go,  lose the fear. That thing inside that’s nagging you, just do it.  You have a family that will welcome you home if you fail, or if you change your mind. 

There’s so much to do, and you will do it this year.

I love you. 

Fan the Flame...

It's been a loooong while since I last blogged. And well, I've been BUSY. But I can honestly say that I have loved every second of it. Being a missionary is one of the hardest things I have ever done, yet it is also the most fulfilling.  My faith in Jesus Christ has brought so much joy and peace into my life and as a missionary I have witnessed it do the same thing for many people. I can't quite describe the power behind hearing someone pray for the first time, or witnessing them change as they begin to discover the divinity of the Book of Mormon. 

{The Book of Mormon was written by prophets that lived here in the Americas many years ago.  It is similar to the Bible but it is a separate record of scripture and together with the Bible, it contains the fullness of the gospel}

Normally this change does not happen over night.  Alma, a prophet in the Book of Mormon described it perfectly.  He said:

"Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to englighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me." (Alma 32:28)

I love this scripture! I think it describes faith perfectly. Faith isn't something that just grows over night. Like a seed, it needs to be nurtured and given the proper care in order to grow. As you nurture your faith, it begins to grow, and with it you gain peace and understanding. There are many of you out there with questions.  Perhaps you may be asking yourself why you are here?  What is the purpose of this life?  What happens after we die?   I promise you that this book has the power to change lives and through reading it and praying, you will be able to answer these questions! Feed your faith!  I can say that openly and honestly because it changed MY life, and the lives of my parents and siblings.  The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ.  Together with the bible, it has enriched my understanding of my purpose here on earth, and I feel more connected than ever with my Savior.  I know that I am nothing without Him. 

I know that God is literally my Father in Heaven.

I know why I am here on earth.

I know that there is life after death. 

I know that I will be with my family FOREVER.

I know that prayers are answered. 

And I feel peace :)

Down to the Hours

The next time you hear from me, I will be Hermana Cohen. 

That is simply crazy to me.  I have dreamed of this moment for so long, that now that it is here I almost can't believe it.  I have a mixed combination of emotions: nervous, excited, happy, sad, etc etc.

I don't really know what to write, other than I will miss you all greatly, and I hope HOPE hope, some of you will write me!  I will post my mission address on the side bar ( I will only be in the MTC for 12 days, so I figure it's not really worth putting on here.)

I am beyond excited to serve my Savior as His missionary.  I have no doubts in my mind that I am doing what the Lord wants from me.  I feel so blessed for this opportunity, and for the knowledge that I have that this is the true church, and that the Book of Mormon was written for our times.  I love the work, I love the Lord, and I can't wait to be out in the field. 

With love,
Elizabeth

Tiny moments

I'm thinking of that moment.  That moment when you have to make a choice. 

You know what the consequences are, you have been taught about right and wrong.

And even if you haven't, you have the light of Christ.

So you are teetering on the edge of that cliff. You stare down at consequence, at your possible disintigration.

Your mind and heart try to protect you, to convince you to stay back.  But your body pushes you, it grinds your insides, and fogs your mind of what you should know. 

And then you leap.  Something wins inside of you and your insides impulse you to action.

It is this moment, this blink of an eye instance, this milisecond in the spectrum of eternity, that leaves me wondering...

What was it that made you dive?  Why did you fail when others resisted?

Is it Resilience?

I have absolutely no idea.

21.

21 years of life and counting...can't waif for the next 21 :)

This Week...

I have managed to purchase almost everything I need for the mission, including...
2 suitcases
a jump rope
Resistance bands
socks
winter leggings
winter tights
shoes
a ton of undershirts
2 pencil skirt
1 really long, super flowy skirt :)
a journal
a photo album
a raincoat
a white bra (we can't wear color ones, apparently)
I'm sure I'm forgetting other stuff...

And I have also started packing everything I wont be using til the mission.  Is it too early for that???  I only have 24 days left...
 
But for now I'm just trying to be very positive.  Hence this picture:

Peace and love baby, Peace and Love.