Que Pasa, Mufasa?

So, letting go is tough. Now, I know I talk about this all the time and obviously if anyone is taking the time to read this, they know I often complain about how hard it is! Nevertheless, I am going to do it again because I had an AHA! moment in church today.

Sometimes people can be so RUDE. and if your like me, you try to be polite and BrUsH it off like it wasn't a big deal. BUT you know its a big deal when the whole drive home your thinking about what you should have said back or how you should have put so and so in their place for making you feel so small...yaddy yaddy yah.

And so, I've been doing my Lifeclass analysis (if you don't know what Lifeclass is you should investigate because it is LifeCHANGING.) and wondering why it is that I let people treat me this way and so I decided I deserved better and wasn't going to be fake anymore and pretend I am happy with someone when I am clearly not.

So......How do you do this? That is an important question....One I DID NOT have the answer to. Many very important people in my life provided me with fantastic advice and so I was totally in the process of putting my plan into action in order to confront this problem. My plan was basically this: next time someone says something mean, I am going to go ape-poo on them. I'm going to tell them where they can STICK it. I'm going to let them know what its like to feel small. Every time I would think of different scenarios, I would think about how I could put that person in their place in the most condescending way possible.

(Yes. I am pathetic. But at least I am being HONEST right???? :)

Anyway, today I realized something. Anger was fueling me into action, which only meant that the outcome would be negative and explosive. I wouldn't get anything resolved! This realization was because in church today we had a fantastic lesson and certain scriptures stuck to me. This is what we read in class that had me doing an AHA! dance in my head...

James 3: 5

5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

James 3:10-11

10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?

James 3:13

13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

I thought, "Wow, Elizabeth you are such a Hypocrite! Here you are all upset with someone because they are rude to you and make you feel sad and you are just going to reverse that same attitude that you so HATE on them. Yup, you truly are growing as a human being (<<

If words can hurt me so much, why would I want to inflict that on other people? Even if they do it themselves. I'm not going to help them by being just like them. And even if they don't care and don't change, if I speak with love I would have done the right thing.

Why? Because words are so important. They are so powerful and I realized that I was judging others for something that I obviously didn't have complete control over myself. I mean, I was planning a verbal atomic bomb!

What you say to others can have a lasting impact on them. I'm sure we have all experienced it first hand (I know I have :). I don't want to be the cause of pain on someone else. And if someone is constantly saying mean things to others, its likely that they are dealing with a lot of emotional baggage already, so adding more baggage wont be effective at all in making them treat you (me) better.

NOTE: The point isn't to continue to brush hurtful comments off. The point is to speak in "tiernos acentos" (which I don't know what the English translation is in LDS vernacular but it basically means speaking in kind and loving tones.) People respond better to that. I respond better to that! And also, its a matter of being humble enough to tell someone that they hurt your feelings without dumping a whole bunch of judgemental mumbo jumbo on them.

So I received an important answer today. Solving problems through judgmental communication and hurtful dialogue was not going to get me anywhere. Instead, peace and love baby!

Be a LOVER not a HATER.

<3 Elly

PS. Sorry if this got preachy, I just wrote it exactly how i thought it out and I'm not in the mood to edit it out ;)