Christmas Without Dad.

In all of my life, I have never ever missed a Christmas with my pops. EVER. This year, tragedy knocked on our door, and he was forced to go all the way to Venezuela to bury his own Dad. Not having him around this time of year has made me really consider just how much his presence influences our daily lives. It's so weird having to take out the dogs, I never used to do that, he always loved doing that. Christmas at the Cohen's? Not this year, my Dad always cooked the Christmas feast, and without him, the only one willing (and qualified, honestly) to do it is my oldest sister, Laura. And although it will most likely be delicious, it's not the same. Because on Christmas (and every special holiday) my Dad pours his heart and soul into the kitchen, making cooking a whole day affair. The smell of the food flows throughout the whole house and it just feels like Christmas. And afterward, we watch movies and talk. My whole family spends the night at our home, and there is nothing like seeing my nephews faces when they wake up in the morning to find Christmas presents under our tree. But this year is different...we don't have a Christmas tree. My dad left so quickly he didn't have time to carry out for us girls. That's the curse of having so many daughters, Dad, you have to do most of the heavy lifting.

So this year, Christmas is at Laura's house. We probably wont be sleeping over. I don't know what tree we will be putting the Christmas presents under and my house wont smell like a Christmas feast is brewing....but, in times of sadness count your BLESSINGS!

So my Dad isn't around this year, big deal! He's been around for every Christmas before this one. You know how many girls don't have their father around anymore? You know how many kids get shuffled back and forth between divorced parents on Christmas? My dad has been a constant and dedicated presence in my life, I never went without and he has always tried to do his best for his family. and really, my dad's coming home in a week, I'll see him then, and next year our old Cohen family traditions will fall into place once more.

I have such a close knit family. We don't always get along. We argue and yell, and sometimes we ignore each other. But they are always here. Someone is always willing to listen to my crazy ranting. Someone is always willing to cry with me. I am never alone! What a blessing!

I have the blessing of knowing about the Savior, the Messiah. If my mother would have never met the missionaries all those years ago, I would have been raised Jewish. The absence of knowledge that Christ came and died for me, that he loves me and every one of Heavenly Father's children...that would have been lost to me! The thought of it makes my chest ache, how grateful I am to know about the savior, to be part of the restored Gospel. How grateful I am that my dad accepted the savior into his own life, and that my stubborn grandfather died knowing that Christ was the Messiah.

So, today there is sadness. It's unavoidable when the head of your family isn't around. But there is also great joy, the celebration of our Saviors birth. The celebration of his life, his work, and his sacrifice. It is a day to grow closer to our families, appreciate what we have and begin preparing for the New Year. It is a day full of love and peace.

I keep going back to this scripture....
2 Nephi 2:11
For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

Without sadness, there would never be happiness, without bad, there would never be good, without death, there would have never been life...So, in a way, I am grateful for this Christmas in particular, for putting my whole life into perspective and recognizing all of the little and large blessings I have. Because yes, this year is different (to put it lightly) but it is still Christmas, and there is so much I have to be grateful for.

Merry Christmas everyone! May your day be filled with peace, joy, love, and family.

-Elizabeth