An Open Letter to Myself.

Dear Ellie,

2015 was quite the year.  A milestone year, in fact.  You’ve traveled to so many places; have met so many new, wonderful people and most importantly, you graduated college.  A first for your family! Congratulations!

It seems like you’ve dreamed of graduating college since you were 10 years old.  You were such an odd kid.  Most 10-year-old kids don’t have their lives planned out…but you did.  You planned on graduating high school with a scholarship. Done.  You planned on serving a mission. Done.  You planned on getting a degree. Done.

It seems like you’ve checked everything off of your list and now you question what’s next.  I know you are terrified over the future and that you feel that nagging feeling inside your soul that tells you there must be more. 

And there is.  There is so much more, your life has just begun. 

Ellie, you are so unique and many times you forget who you are.  2016 is your year. 

2016 is the year of Ellie. 

This year your faith will grow, and you will see miracles as you stop questioning the Lord’s plan for you and you just go with it.

[seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand.  For behold, ye yourselves know that He counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.]           

You’re going to see the world, Ellie.  Make it a priority.  Enjoy this time to travel, to meet new people, to experience a part of yourself that you haven’t met yet.  Devour the food in Cartagena.  Breathe in the wild scent of the Alps and marvel at the Lord’s creation. He made it just for you. And when you go to England, make sure you make all your wild Harry Potter dreams come true.

[Even if it’s only through day-dreams of Hogwarts]

Take care of your body.  You’re so hard on it, so critical of every part of it.  Yet you’re alive.  And this vessel has so much to give. Excercise for the right reasons.  Relish the fact that your heart beats, that your lungs breathe. 

This year is also about letting go.  It’s about forgiveness and loosening your hold on bitterness and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s about not holding on to a past that wont make you happy now.  Use it as fuel for the life you are creating for yourself.

And Ellie, before I go,  lose the fear. That thing inside that’s nagging you, just do it.  You have a family that will welcome you home if you fail, or if you change your mind. 

There’s so much to do, and you will do it this year.

I love you.