Confession #18: I am no longer a lazy @$$

I, Elizabeth, officially am not a lazy...you know what. Why? Because I got a job at HARMONS! To most this would seem like a dull, non-extraordinary, job. Nevertheless, It is a JOB! yay! I actually always wanted to work at Harmons because it was always so nice and the food was always so good...and Lets face it, their sushi is LEGIT. Plus, today, during training, I saw the most spectacular looking boy working there and I swear my heart almost stopped....but I probably wont ever see him again and he'll probably have another shift from me and theirs also the fact that he most likely is NOT Mormon-y since he has his ear pierced... but whatever, he's cute so I will daydream and NEVER act on it since you know, the whole religion thing is a MUST. So yeah, random, but I thought I had to it. Okay, I'm ranting.
Word.
Elizabeth

Confession # 16: I Need to Move on and Grow Up.

Today I took the first step. Today, I decided that I was going to stop pitying myself and my boring NON existent life. Today, I made the first move. Today, I decided to grow up. Today, I applied for a job. I've realized that I need to stop avoiding the inevitable. I mean, sure, I have enough money from my FAFSA to be happy. but I'm not. Why? because, in the REAL world, working is a necessary evil. I mean, sure, go ahead. Go to college. But after that, if you have no working skills whatsoever, it will be very hard for you to get a job. And saying that you do, well then you wont have any experience with having an EVIL boss. and if you dont know how to work with a boss and stupid coworkers, well then your going to have a major surprise waiting for you. Or maybe I'm just trying to force my lazy a$$ except the fact that I WILL GET A JOB and accept the fact that sleeping, eating, and watching TV 24/7 is not a life.

*sigh*

I really should have gone to college during the summer. I don't know how to live without school. It's sad. It's pretty depressing, actually. and pathetic, if you think about it. I mean, what kind of a person depends on SCHOOL for fun? yeah. me. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

So, I have decided to start planning. You know, to actually GET my license. Or, you know, travel. Maybe do an exchange program at Westminster sometime. Study abroad. Fun stuff. Rather than dwell on the fact that I am confined to this darn house for the REST OF THE SUMMER. therefore, I want-no NEED- a job. You know, so that I don't die of boredom.
You wouldn't want me to die of boredom right?

Until next time, my dears.
Elizabeth

Confession #11: Sometimes life throws you curveballs and you get hit in the face...i just got hit

Life can sometimes suck. No really, it can. Life can sometimes be unbearable. Life sometimes hate you. Sometimes, life just really wants to piss you off. Yes, if you couldnt tell by now, i am bitter. I mean, I've worked my [butt] off for the IB diploma and I probably wont be getting it because i have panic attacks during tests. And guess what? I'm not even done. I have a 3.699 and i should have a 3.70 but i have a stupid math teacher who cant remember making a deal with me to change a certain grade...well guess what? i did the work! and he refuses to change the grade and because of his evilness i wont be graduating with high honors... So among other things, my life has not been going as i envisioned it. dreams are shattered and life takes you on detours. Sometimes you just have to learn to play the game....NOT.

ANYWAY, the point to the previous paragraph full of misery and strife (I'm being overly dramatic...) is that yes, life sometimes is not fun. But giving up is so much worst. I told my dad recently that if you never try you never fail, and if you never fail then at least you can pretend that you might have been able to do it. you know what he said? he gave me a typical Alberto C. answer. He said: life is like climbing a mountain (yes, he is officially obsessed), sometimes you are so close to the summit but conditions force you to have to climb down. But it doesn't matter because the next day, you get up and you try again until you climb that mountain.

In many ways, he is very right. If you never try, you will never get anywhere. I don't want to live like that. I want to die trying. No, I will claw my way until i get what i want. Because the only people that determine your life is YOU. If someone else doesn't think your good enough, then all i can say is pfffffffffffft. Other people putting obstacles in your way should not deter what you do. The only person that will truly stop you is yourself. So, what i'm saying in a very round about way is that we all should do what we want to do, be what we want to be. Life can only suck if you let yourself think it sucks. We all go through hard things, terrible things. But they make us stronger, they make us better. We should measure ourselves by our own achievements, not those of others. So, lets be happy people! we only get one life ;)

Until next time...


Ellie

PS. Btw...about the picture; how can we ever hate life when we have gorgeous places like that to see?

Confession #5: There is no Such Thing as Positive Stress

I have always been told that there is positive stress and negative stress. Positive stress supposedly helps you be motivated to get things done. Well you know what? I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as positive stress. It is a lie. This week has been the most stressful week of my life. I have to finish my 4000 word extended essay, my 2000 word historical assessment, my evil math test that makes no sense whatsoever, I have to turn in my CAS service hours and completed paper work, i have to correct my World Lit. essay for english+ write a page about the book we've been reading (Black Boy by Richard Wright...read it if you get the chance. It is great!) do my reading for history, and excuse AND make up my french absences and (FINALLY) finish my biology homework. I honestly don't know how I am going to get through the rest of the school year...

Can i just graduate already? This is what happens when you are an over acheiver with no life at all. :(

Until next time!!!
Ellie